Success...It's All in the Letter P By now we are familiar with Nigel Lythgoe, the British television director and producer, who created such smash hits as Ameri...

Would You Pick You to Be Your Best Friend?

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Original Publication Date:
May 2010

9. Be willing to let go

Sometimes we have to let go of friendships if they have become unhealthy or no longer valuable. If the friend has become a user or abuser of you and your relationship it's time to put them off the train. These people may not go quietly into that dark night. They have become accustomed to your attention and kindheartedness and won't easily let you let them go. After all, who is going to put up with their drama or lies or aggravation if you are no longer in the picture? Take yourself out of their picture. Take them out of yours. Make your decision and stick to it. For some, it may take a clean break. That means no calls, no meet-
ups, no texts, no girls' or guys' night out. For others who may be actively involved in your daily life it will take a systematic effort to back out of and away from the person. Create distance and be consistent. Send clear messages and don't waffle. Eventually, the person will get the message, move on, and you can too.

10. Taking applications for new friends

As we live and age and grow, so too our friendships have the potential to grow with us. There is always the opportunity to make new friends that go beyond the acquaintance realm. There is no good reason to keep bad company so adding new friends to your life may be a much needed spark. Take your time cultivating the friendship. You should never be in a hurry. The friendship will take root as the friend reveals their true self. Give that a chance to blossom in its own perfect time.

11. Friends come in different packages

For some people, their pets are considered their children. They are also their friend. Pets give that unconditional love and devotion that we human beings love to receive. We can depend on them through thick and thin. I don't happen to have any pets right now—they're not allowed where I live (bummer, eh?). I have two close friends, however, who make up for it. One has two dogs, the other has five cats. These animals bring tons of joy and laughter and, yes, friendship to their lives that only pets can. If you have a pet, or two or five, you have a built-in, automatic, life time friend.

12. True friendships don't come and go

If a friendship is worth keeping you will find a way to keep it. That doesn't mean it won't change. Of course it will because both parties in the friendship will change. That is all part of the journey and a true and lasting friendship is one that will be a smooth ride and a bumpy ride, but always a wonderful, worthwhile ride.

13. Don't confuse friend with acquaintance

People will walk in and out of your life for as long as you live. Not each and every person should become your friend. Their purpose may serve as that of acquaintance—someone who you know but don't ever REALLY come to know. There is a distinct difference. Be slow and cautious when you open yourself up to new folks. Some people have a tendency to get too chummy too fast. They seem desperate to be your friend. Save your friendship for those who fit the bill.

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