Success...It's All in the Letter P By now we are familiar with Nigel Lythgoe, the British television director and producer, who created such smash hits as Ameri...

Why Do Married Men Think We Want Them?

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Original Publication Date:
June 2007

At the moment I seem to have many more single, female friends than married—maybe there's something in the water. These women are beautiful and accomplished and available but are as varied and diverse as one could imagine. They differ so completely by age, body type, political affiliation, and their view of the universe. In the midst of this diversity there is one thing, however, they all appear to have in common—married men. It seems that each and every gal I know has more than their fair share of married men coming at them from every direction with one thing and one thing only on their minds. And no, it's not love, it's not commitment, it's not that they want to add them to their bank account or take them home for the holidays to mama. The one and only thing these married men want from these single women is sex. They aren't the least bit interested in carrying on anything other than a sexual relationship and on their terms. For some reason these men see themselves as worthy of the single gal's attention and operate under the notion of what's so wrong with enjoying a little pleasure between consenting adults? They are ready and willing and believe all it takes is making their wishes known and surely then, that single, pretty lady is up for the party and will go along with the program. He wants her; she must want him. She's single and available isn't she?

Some of my gal pals wouldn't knowingly consider the advances of such a guy with a little Mrs. sitting at home who thinks he's out with the softball team or staying late at the office. After all, what's in it for them? (Crudely and harshly put—anybody can get laid. Anybody can have sex with anybody. Unfortunately, it's not hard to do.)

I'm single myself and by no means a prude. I'm all for people having great sex and great fun. I still feel, though, there are invisible lines in life not to cross, designed to keep human beings in check and protect us from ourselves. Some customs and practices are sacred and valuable and should never be tampered with or taken for granted. It changes the equation and diminishes who we are. The fact that we are human and men are men means we aren't perfect and don't have perfect relationships. That doesn't mean we can't strive to stay within the confines of that relationship if it is valuable enough to have and more valuable to keep. Life has boundaries. Simple pleasures sometimes have to be experienced through plan B or C and not always from our first choice. Just because we desire something doesn't mean we should act upon it. Most men behave as though they are entitled to bad behavior because they are men. We expect it of them and they will gladly live up to that inbred reputation. Perhaps I was hoping we have become more evolved and our good judgment can override the immediate gratification of those animal instincts. From what I'm seen and experienced lately, it appears we still have a long way to go.

Pz's Pointers on Single Women Dealing with Married Men

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