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When Did We Get So Damn Mean?
Original Publication Date:
August 2007
I remember when Mattie Stepanek died. He was my hero and the little boy in the broken body with the big heart was a poet and peacemaker. With every labored breath he took his only intention was to make the world a kinder, gentler place. I remember going online to post my condolences and to read the comments by others. I closed my eyes. Wishing and hoping, as I went to the message board, my overwhelming thought was, if I see one bad word written about this precious soul, than we, as human beings, are in BIG trouble. It's simply not possible, I told myself—not about him, not about Mattie. When I opened my eyes and began scrolling down, I was immediately saddened. Among the outpouring of sorrow and the beautiful words of love and gratitude there were also comments that made me angry. (I rarely get angry.) Don't ask me to share those ugly comments—suffice to say they demeaned his poetry, crucified his mother, mocked his disability, and minimized his contributions. When did we get so mean?
Since then I've noticed a trend. Maybe technology has given the unconscious among us a forum to spew the venom pent up inside with nowhere to go. Maybe we've long had it in us and now given the opportunity we lash out, even if the lashing does nothing to add to the dialogue. Maybe we've always been this way, like the bullies on the playground, and I deluded myself into believing we had graduated to a higher level from such unkind and judgmental ways.
Tiger Woods and his wife, Elin, recently welcomed their first child, daughter Sam Alexis, into their lives. We care about the birth because we feel like we know him. Being the most famous athlete in all of sports, he has become a house-hold name. He shared his joy with the world because he lives his life on the world stage. So, what's not to celebrate about his little girl? What could anyone possibly say about this event that isn't pleasant? Why would anyone want to impose their hate and narrow-minded ignorance on such a blessed occasion? Yet again, as I navigated around, the hateful responses—from both sides of the racial aisle—were enough to make me want to vomit. (I rarely vomit.) When did we get so mean?
Mean-spiritedness shows up other places as well. Politics is the perfect example. It's no secret we have plenty of problems, both at home and beyond. It's no secret we need actual solutions and strong leaders to step up and lead. Rather than sticking with the facts and addressing the critical issues at hand, politicians opt to remain splintered rather than unite. They annihilate each other's reputation and resort to hitting those nasty blows below the waist. What you put out you get back. Should our arrogance persist and we continue on this path, a day will come when there won't be an America to lead. Along with the politicians, the commentators and activists like Michael Moore and Ann Coulter are brilliant yet divisive. Ann refers to herself as a 'polemicist' and as one on the extreme right, who is consistently stirring up the pot, has easily earned the label. On the far left is Michael who rejects the label of activist but has done quite a bit of stirring himself. Each of these public figures creates or attracts their share of mean-spiritedness. Sometimes in a democracy people need to be shaken up. Tough times call for tough measures. Maybe those measures bring out the very worst in those well-meaning warriors. No matter if they're left or right—in the end—it's all the same. Real answers to real human problems can only be found through compassionate means.
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