Success...It's All in the Letter P By now we are familiar with Nigel Lythgoe, the British television director and producer, who created such smash hits as Ameri...

When a Married Man Cheats, is it with You?

Tweet

2 comments

Original Publication Date:
May 2010

8. You are there for the money

Married men often cheat with women who make their living at providing sexual services for money. We call them prostitutes. The arrangement is one where it's clear going in that the guy wants nothing more than a physical payoff and the woman wants nothing more than a financial one. These women aren't interested in taking anybody's husband. They aren't interested in proving any point of conquest or in need of love or attention from the client. It's, as they say, the oldest profession. It's a pay for play scenario. It's a job—albeit not an easy job, but it can run the gamut of being extremely lucrative to being incredibly dangerous. You might be a woman who falls into this category. Even though you have no emotional connection, and it's not your job to care, remember a wife is never happy to learn her husband is paying you, a stranger, for sex.

9. Thinking beyond the cheating

For all the women who make conscious choices to cheat with men who are currently attached to living, breathing wives, I have something to share. Think before you follow through with the behavior. There is a real person who can and will be hurt by your actions. There is a real person who doesn't know about you and doesn't know her husband is about to do things he has no business doing. There is a real woman at home who doesn't need you to dangle the goods to prove you can get her husband to take a bite of the forbidden apple. Someday that woman could be you.

10. Short term indulgence makes for long term consequences

So it feels good at the time it's happening. Of course it does. Sometimes we are faced with decisions that will follow us long after the decision is made. When a woman intentionally, knowingly, of her own free-will sleeps with a married man, it doesn't start and end there. Regardless the outcome, the action will have ramifications for all time. You see, we are writing on our chalkboard of life. If we add cheating with a married man to the board it says something about who we are and how we fit into the bigger picture. We all have a moral compass. See that yours is in tip-top working order and pointing you clearly in the right direction.

There is a touching scene in the romantic flick 'Under the Tuscan Sun' that illustrates an amazing point. Sometime after the handsome Italian contractor, Massimo Sarchielli, had helped sell the crumbling villa in Tuscany to the gorgeous Diane Lane, she was still pretty sad and unhappy with her life. The contractor, who had by now become her friend, told her she had better stop being sad or he was going to have to make love to her and he simply couldn't do that because he had never been unfaithful to his wife. The chemistry was there, the opportunity was there, it would have been so easy for Nino—Massimo's character—to have an affair with Frances—Diane's character—because she was so vulnerable, but, alas, he refrained and she refrained. He remained her supporter and admirer throughout the story, but he treated her with dignity and respect while giving his own wife the love and respect she, too, deserved. As the viewer, you expected Nino to cross the line with Frances. The desire for her in the moment was obvious and strong, but he chose loyalty and commitment over instant pleasure. You expected Frances to create a situation that Nino couldn't refuse. Her sense of fair play and knowing the pain her husband had caused when he left rendered her unable to take advantage of Nino. The scene was magic and one of the most impactful I've ever experienced from any movie. It poignantly portrayed how a man and a woman could say no to each other even when all things pointed to them saying yes. Maybe it was only a movie, but life can imitate art if we choose. We just have to choose. Be the person who makes the right choice.

Tweet

Follow Pz On!

Terms and Conditions | Contact Webmaster