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Are You a Crab in the Pot or Decidedly Not?

We'll call her Noelle. She wasn't beautiful in a traditional sense, but she had a look and sensuality that couldn't be denied...

When a Married Man Cheats, is it with You?

from Pz's Perspective, Natural Muscle Magazine

2 comments

Original Publication Date:
May 2010

the other woman in the foreground sad at the happy couple behind her

You know the names by now: John Edwards, Tiger Woods, Jesse James, David Letterman, Mark Sanford, and Tiki Barber—just to name a few of late. What do these guys have in common—other than they are rich and famous and wildly successful? Come on, you know the answer. I know you do. They are all married men and have cheated on their beautiful wives. You can break it down and look at each man's distinct circumstance, but the bottom line is they each crossed a line that was intended to be off limits.

In our society, we view marriage as a monogamous commitment between two consenting adults and there isn't a built-in clause on the marriage certificate that says either partner can someday have indiscriminate sex outside the union. It doesn't work that way. At least, it's not supposed to. But we all know better. Human beings being human beings, means none of us are perfect, especially when it comes to relationships. Whether you are powerful and famous or simply an everyday Joe, being faithful can be hard.

Most marriages have an expectation of fidelity. That means both the man and the woman who say I do, do so with the intention of being devoted exclusively to each other. They profess before their God and the world their promise to love, honor, and cherish and declare that what has been brought together let no man (or woman) put asunder. Nobody enters into a bond such as this believing cheating is a given and at some stage on the journey their partner will turn to another and another. There comes a time, however, when the once sacred vows take a back seat to the hook up waiting to happen. Real men are reduced to giddy school boys and crumble under the pressure of life's on-going temptations. They cross the line. The go over the invisible boundary that is often only evidenced by the gold band worn on the 4th finger of their left hand. We blame them. The more powerful and public the persona, the more we assign blame. How dare they cheat on their fabulous and wonderful wives? After all, this is the wife who is perennially by their side. This is the wife who is suffering from cancer. This is the wife who is pregnant with twins. This is the wife who has been their rock during thick and thin. This is the wife who smiles and waves and looks at them adorningly on. This is the wife who puts them on an even higher pedestal than her Oscar. These high profile men become cheating guys who happen to get caught. Now their wives know. Now we know. Ah, say it isn't so.

Yes, it's true that married men from every walk of life are cheating. The problem is they can't cheat alone. They can't do it by themselves. They need to have another willing accomplice in the mix. They have to have a woman, some woman, any woman on the other end to make the cheating a reality. Who is the woman willing to go along with the dance? Who is the woman responsible right along with the man for making the decision to cheat? Who is the woman helping to create all the hurt and havoc? Is it you? When a married man cheats is he cheating with you?

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Reader Comments

Naomi says...

Wow...I guess we've completely given up on men...we're now making it the responsibility of single women to make married men stay faithful. I vote we hold married men responsible, and remind them of THEIR moral responsiblities. HE made the vows, NOT her! SHE has no duties to HIS marriage or

Pz Hopkins says...

Of course married men are responsible--that is a GIVEN.The point of the column is to help women who opt to sleep w/these schmucks realize their actions don't happen in a vacuum. There are consequences for which they are a part.They can't keep him from cheating.They can keep him from cheating w/them~

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