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What Do You Have That's Worth Fighting For?

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Original Publication Date:
February 2010

As I sat down to write this month's column I was headed in one clear direction. But as is often the case, life happens, and everything changed. Suddenly, I felt compelled to go down a totally different road. Tonight, as I go through my ritual of scribbling out the first draft on my yellow pad, my mom is fighting for her life. Today marks two weeks that she's been in the hospital and for twelve of those days in the critical care unit. Within this brief span of time, she's undergone more suffering than anybody's body has a right to endure. The doctors and nurses have admitted to the family they don't have a medical explanation as to why she is still alive. They gave her so little chance of surviving the first emergency surgery much less the subsequent one they were forced to perform, shortly thereafter, along with all the other medical land mines that have since been put in her path. With each new blow to her bruised and battered system, she has held on. With each additional setback, she refuses to give up. Again and again, she thumbed her nose at every knock from the other side of death's door. Their conclusion: she is still here because of that mysterious intangible that is impossible to quantify or understand—her will to live and a power working overtime that is bigger than anything medicine or mankind could logically offer up. All along she's displayed a fight that is paramount to going 15 rounds with Ali in his prime. She's shown a strength and resilience and determination that someone half her age would have trouble equaling. Knowing the person my mom is, I'm not surprised at how she's responded throughout this crisis. The fight in her is so strong because she is not ready to go just yet. She's fighting to live because she knows deep in her soul that her life is worth the fight. We're taking it one day, one hour, one minute, one breath at a time. Every day she continues to draw a breath is a victory. The same applies to me and you. Our life is measured in exactly the same way. Since none of us know precisely when our appointed time runs out, we must decide what is worth fighting for while we are here.

Pz's Pointers on discovering what's worth the fight

1. Stand up for what's important

Life is meant to be lived. When you have an appreciation for the world around you and the people in it, you will have a stake in its health, well-being, and survival. The more connected you feel to the big picture the bigger role you'll play. Now, more than ever, we need people who know who they are and will stand up for all that they believe. Decide in your heart those key issues that matter to you. Pick the battles as they arise that are worth fighting.

2. You're entitled to change your mind

Suppose you've devoted much of your life to a relationship or a career or a calling and you realize it's not giving you the happiness and gratification you deserve. You find that what once had value and meaning doesn't anymore. You discover what was once worth fighting for isn't worth the fight anymore. If that happens, change your life to accommodate the reality. Don't stick with something or someone beyond the expiration date if there is more sorrow than joy. Let go of people or situations that have served their purpose or aren't working for you like they once were. You are allowed to grow and sometimes that means growing away or apart from the people and things you once held dear. You are allowed to change and sometimes that means you're going to have to change the aspects of your life that need changing. If that happens, it's okay. It's no one's fault. No one is to blame. You can't get to a new beginning holding on, when you should be letting go.

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