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What Do You Have That's Worth Fighting For? As I sat down to write this month's column I was headed in one clear direction. But as is often the case, life happens, and e... |
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Being the Real You in the Real World
A Lesson from Tiger Woods
Original Publication Date:
January 2010
Ever notice how one minute you think you know someone—really know them—and something comes to the fore where you find you don't know them at all. They were showing the world one version while another version existed that was mostly hidden under wraps. In other words, they had you fooled into thinking they were this or that or the other, and, instead, turned out to be something else entirely. So, one might ask, who is the real person? Who are you...really?
The best example to illustrate my point comes from one of the biggest stories of 2009—the unraveling of Tiger Woods. Being a golf enthusiast, I've followed Tiger's career for as long as I can remember. Undeniably the greatest golfer of this era, and perhaps of any era, notwithstanding Nicklaus and Hogan, we thought we knew him. Why? Because he let us think we did. It was not just his game—which is one of the purest, most winning models of perfection ever to grace a tee—but the man behind the game and that famous name. We didn't think he was our buddy or our pal, but we thought we had some sense of Tiger the golfer, and Tiger the man. He was a willing accomplice in having us come along on his wild and lucrative ride with Nike and Buick and Gillette and Gatorade. We listened in when he spoke as a brand ambassador for AT&T or Accenture or the Swiss luxury watch, Tag Heuer. He further elevated his status and standing with his foundation for the less privileged and accepted his role as role model for wide-eyed admiring kids who wanted only to swing a club to be like him. It made us cheer him on all the more. We cried with him when he won for his dad and cried for him when he won when his dad was gone. Then, there was that family...that beautiful family. That gorgeous wife that he spoke of in such glowing terms, and of how they were a supportive team and shared such a blessed life together—along with an adorable daughter and precious son—and the dogs that licked his face, and the picture he painted of the family man, and the yacht called Privacy where we thought he and these cherished loved ones found solace. That's the Tiger we thought we knew. That's the Tiger he showed us: driven, determined, ambitious, rare—a man with a big grin, a man of integrity and honor. He talked a big game. We thought he walked a real walk.
Don't misunderstand my position. I really don't care what Tiger does with other women. That's for Elin to decide. I wish he'd just remained a bachelor like Jeter and did whatever he damn well pleased with whomever he damn well pleased. Or, if the marriage wasn't working, just man-up and move on. Don't play the game outside the game. Don't dupe the public into believing they've got a stand-up guy to root for and be proud of. Some say this is none of the public's business. Unfortunately, it's not quite so simple. We live in a world where this stuff makes headlines. We live in a media driven, scandal laden, need-to-know, 24/7, Twitter tornado of information where politicians and athletes and celebrities are at the center of the storm. Tiger isn't just any golfer. He isn't just any guy on the tour. He's Tiger, and from the time when his dad showcased his remarkable skill on the Mike Douglas show at age 2, we have witnessed the rise of a phenom the likes of which may not be seen for years to come. We now are witnessing his fall—a self-inflicted fall. He will never be viewed quite the same. It isn't possible. His image no longer jibes with reality. Make no mistake. Andre Agassi said it long ago, 'Image is everything.' Yes, Andre, you're so right. Whether or not Tiger breaks Jack's record of 18 majors suddenly seems insignificant and feels more like a footnote than a milestone. We cared. Now we don't...so much. It seems we didn't know this guy. We weren't even close. Just maybe he doesn't even know himself.
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