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Success...It's All in the Letter P By now we are familiar with Nigel Lythgoe, the British television director and producer, who created such smash hits as Ameri... |
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Sizzling hot or sadly not?
Original Publication Date:
August 2009
5. Pay positive attention to your partner in private
Couples can live together under the same roof and while they are not alone they can be very lonely. If the relationship reaches a point where you are feeling a sense of aloneness, something is terribly wrong. A disconnect has happened somewhere along the way, and you have to find a way to rekindle and reconnect. The spark can be close to being extinct. Unless you don't think your relationship is important enough to revive, it's your job to extend yourself in every way possible. Let your partner know you feel a distance and see if they feel it too. Lots of couples have gotten good at ignoring each other behind closed doors. Talk to your partner. Listen to your partner. Ask the right questions and you may be surprised at their answers.
6. Don't expect. Be grateful.
Just because you are married or are living in a committed union with another doesn't mean anybody owns anybody. What used to represent forever in relationships doesn't anymore. Don't take your partner for granted. Tomorrow they might not be there. Don't expect them to be your maid, or your gravy train, or your cook, or your every thing. Be grateful for the love they give to you and the life they share with you. Be genuinely thankful for having them in your life. If they see an attitude of gratitude in you, it will make them love you all the more. It also will result in making love all the more. Loving couples have it going on. They don't have any problem with where they fall on the hotness scale. Heat begets heat and love begets love. Hopefully, that can be you and your partner. It's a beautiful thing.
Reader Comments
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Pz Hopkins says...
Great compromise. Good for you! Glad you could come up with a solution to your differences and still sleep in the same bed. Thanks for sharing.~
Monica says...
we being together only for one year but living together for 9 months.I noticed we dont have sex too often anymore.I asked him and he told me thats the way he is, that he can be hot for weeks and then cold.Also mentioned he might be bored because of the rutine.Is this normal after only one year??
Pz Hopkins says...
After barely a year you should still be in a hot honeymoon phase. The sex should not have waned as you describe. I'm more concerned that Mr. Hot & Cold says he's bored--not a good sign. If the "routine" is stale then change it now. That's a good place to start...together. Let me know how it goes~
Sam says...
How does depression affect sex and relationships? I feel very distant from everyone as a result of money problems and difficulties at work. Our relationship used to be a sanctuary from the world but lately I've been so depressed that I'e lost my sexual appetite. Mr. Hot & Cold
Pz Hopkins says...
Depression is a killer in many ways. Being distant is a means of coping with the pain of your troubles in a troubled world. Try & be connected 2 your partner on some level even if you aren't your normal sexual self. If you can let the closeness in it can be of some comfort. Don't ever give up on you
sleep lover says...
My boyfriend gets really hot during the night and I get really cold. I wouldn't say we sleep apart but he sleeps over the covers and I sleep under. It's done wonders for both of us when it comes to sleep :)