When a Married Man Cheats, is it with You? You know the names by now: John Edwards, Tiger Woods, Jesse James, David Letterman, Mark Sanford, and Tiki Barber—just ...

Ready, Set , Go Take on Your Life!

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Original Publication Date:
December 2009

A call came a few weeks back from a close friend who said she was in need of a copy of my book. The nearest store carrying it was a bit far, and ordering it online would take added time to arrive through the mail. She wanted to give the book as a gift to an acquaintance who had just found out her husband was having an affair. As is often the case, this person was suffering major distress and devastation, and although my friend didn't know her well, she thought the book could help. At least she wanted to make the effort to try. Knowing me personally, she asked if there was a way I could get her a copy as soon as possible. She thought it was that important. Of course, I did. I asked her to keep me posted and told her to give the woman my best wishes.

Apparently, this broken-hearted casualty was thrilled when she received the gift and said it was exactly what she needed to deal with her crumbling marriage and upside down life. itially, her tears lessened and she talked a good game leading her co-workers to believe she was in control and had a handle on the inevitable. She was going to make a plan to ease her way out of the marriage. Funny thing, though, was she told my friend she would not take the book home because her husband might see it and get mad. Instead, she would keep it at the office and read it on her breaks. Soon thereafter, she began back peddling. Every day she volunteered some new update either justifying her sad behavior or rationalizing her acceptance of her manipulative, lying husband's. It was obvious to my friend that this woman was not facing what was painfully clear and any strength she might garner from my book would have to wait.

The details surrounding this relationship as were related to me are compelling and complicated and not for me to share with you here. But what is important to share is the fact that from everything I was told, this woman simply isn' ready. You see, in order to move forward from any situation you have to be ready. In order to be able to receive help—even from a book like mine, you have to be ready. Ask anyone who has quit drugs or alcohol or cigarettes or anything that required a commitment and a shift in consciousness. Ask anyone who has tackled a dream or conquered a fear that required a desire to achieve a better outcome than their life had been providing. In order to succeed, you have to be ready to take on the fight—whatever that fight might be. In order to rise above and beyond where you currently are, you have to be ready to take on the battle—whatever that battle might be. You have to decide that where you are in the present is not what you want. You have to be ready to go for what it is that you DO want. So, too, with relationships that go terribly wrong. If you're not ready to take on the work to make your journey better, than you're going to stay in that dark, stagnate, unhappy, unfulfilled place a while longer.

What's going on in your life right now that needs immediate attention? What have you accepted or tolerated that's in need of fixing? What is impatiently waiting for you to be ready to change it?

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