Success...It's All in the Letter P By now we are familiar with Nigel Lythgoe, the British television director and producer, who created such smash hits as Ameri...

Are You a Crab in the Pot or Decidedly Not?

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Original Publication Date:
June 2010

4. Blaming others for your shortcomings

Often we are faced with a situation where we fall down in some significant way. Maybe we messed up a project at work and because of our mistake a big contract was lost. Instead of owning that mistake we pass the buck and blame folks in our department so it looks like a colossal blunder by anyone but us. We're not going down alone—we have to take others down with us. Maybe we are caught with another man. We tell our husband it's his fault because he's not showing us enough affection. Crabs are selfish. They don't care. They are not in it for you. They are in it for themselves. It takes a big person to face the music. That is how we learn and prosper.

5. Letting Negative Nellies off the train

It's amazing how many negative influences we each constantly face. Negative Nellies are individuals who insist upon being pessimistic or cynical or glum or give off an energy that keeps you feeling down and low. Just like the crabs, they are not affirmative or encouraging and bring little optimism to your world. They can readily suck the life force right out of you. If you insist on being surrounded by Negative Nellies you will continue to be less than you are meant to be. If you terminate or eliminate them from your life you will have the chance to fill the space they vacate with positive people and positive energy. Surround yourself with people who raise you up. The higher you are lifted the more you can extend a hand back to lift others up as well.

6. Threatened by the success of others

Life doesn't always turn out like we envisioned. If you were drafted by the NFL and got hurt in spring training you'll probably never be voted into the Hall of Fame. That doesn't mean you can't be thrilled for those teammates who stayed healthy and remained on in the game. Your destiny lies someplace else. The sooner you can embrace it the sooner you'll be on your way to having the best life you were intended. Many people can't handle success when it isn't theirs. They get bitter and angry that they fell short of where they think they are supposed to be. They want everyone else to fall short as well. The gorgeous and talented Casey James finished third on this season of American Idol behind Crystal Bowersox and Lee DeWyze. He handled his journey from Cool, Texas to the Idol Hollywood stage with such grace and dignity. Even when the judges piled on with uneven and undeserved criticism, he remained true to himself while steadfastly supportive of all his fellow contestants. There was never a hint of sour grapes to be found in Casey—only gratitude, humility, and miles of smiles. Even though he didn't win, Casey is a winner. He'll go as far as he wants to go. When you can be genuinely happy for the success of others you'll grow into the success you are meant to attain. If you continue to act like the crab you'll stay smack down in that pot with the rest of the bunch where you rightfully belong.

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