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Are You a Crab in the Pot or Decidedly Not?
Original Publication Date:
June 2010
-Helmut Schoeck (1922-1993, Writer and Sociologist)
Instead of respecting her for all she had achieved, they resented her and wanted what she had for their own. The envious, jealous, unsupportive crabs (I mean women) had to do something destructive to make their point. And make their point they did. For every positive story that comes my way there are, unfortunately, double the amount of negative ones that illustrate the crabs in the pot syndrome. So what makes a good candidate for a crab? What behaviors does one have to display to qualify as crab material? Could you have been one of those women who cut up Noelle's costumes? Do you have that in you? Are you a crab in the pot or not?
Pz's Pointers on being a crab or not...
1. Giving without expectation
How many of us give of our time or energy or talent or money and don't expect anything in return? When you give it should come from a genuine place—from your heart. It should be authentic and not contrived. Crabs are takers, not givers. They have a motive or angle or underlying reason when they offer up their help. They are not trustworthy or sincere. Beware of the crabs. Know the difference.
2. Blue-green with envy
When crabs come out of the Chesapeake Bay they are a blue-green in color. Like crabs, people can be blue-green with envy. Envy is resenting others for who they are, what they've accomplished, and what they have. It's a way to justify hate, and rejoice in others' losses. We first learn about envy from the Biblical story of Cain and Abel. Envy is sneaky. It can be dastardly and wears many faces and disguises. You can't see it as clearly as anger or fear or happiness or grief. Envy makes the list of the Seven Deadly Sins. Dante writes of envy as that of "perverted love" because it loves what other people possess, rather than what is good, beautiful, and true. He describes the envious as those farthest away from paradise, with their eyes sewn shut, but weeping over their sins. Anyone who exemplifies the distinct emotion of envy 'majorly' qualifies as a crab.
3. Stirring the pot to create our drama
When crabs are clamoring around they create a commotion that makes it hard on every crab in the pot. Some individuals, like crabs, thrive on stirring up drama. They aren't satisfied unless there is chaos or upheaval among their family, friends, associates—even countries of the world. They aren't content on the inside so they're going to see to it that others aren't either. Who do you know that fits this description? Drama stirrers are trouble and get old and tiresome. If there isn't a crisis they'll find a way to instigate one. If there isn't a problem they'll find a way to generate one. There is no peace or harmony among the drama stirrers. As long as you feed into their drama they’ll persist. They need an audience—someone to fan their flame. As soon as you stop, they'll take their drama and move on.
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