5 Deal Breaker Biggies

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Life happens.

None of us are perfect. Some of us have more baggage and issues than others. There are specific things we can look for in a potential partner—going in— that can better ensure we are setting ourselves up for happiness and success rather than heartbreak and failure. If we take our time and pay attention—during the dating phase— we'll have a chance of recognizing the 'Deal Breaker Biggies' and making the appropriate choices before we decide to move forward or get in too deep.

For those of you already in a committed relationship or marriage your boundaries might be different, so if a deal breaker shows up after the honeymoon has passed you can decide what is and isn't worth working on. The sooner you address it and take action or opt to get help or guidance the better.

If you have children it is all the more reason to take immediate action and not let the deal breaker go on and on for years.

While this list is seemingly obvious, here's another gentle reminder.

Pz's Pointers on Deal Breaker Biggies (Reasons to run in the other direction)

1. Addiction

Alcohol, Drugs, Gambling, Sex or any substance or behavior that results in a person being out of control is a problem that can only be solved by the one with the problem. If you think you have the power to fix the problem for another or change them you are being naive. You don't.

2. Abuse: Physical/Psychological

Nobody has the right to intentionally hurt another, either with their fists, or through their words and deeds— especially someone they are supposed to love. The first sign of behavior that crosses this line should be seen as unacceptable and one that will eventually repeat itself.

3. Infidelity/Lying

Cheaters and liars get good at cheating and lying. Some cheaters are serial cheaters. Some lying can take on pathological proportions. Maybe they'll be different with you. Then again, maybe they won't. For those of you who can tolerate and forgive, this becomes less of a deal breaker than for those of you who have a more strict fidelity boundary.

4. Incompatibility

Any issues surrounding religion/beliefs, money, family, interests, and communication that are too polar opposite, too extreme, or too far apart to ever jell, should be seen as an indicator to say adios.

5. Porn/Internet junkie

Technology has now given us the good along with the bad. Obsessive/Compulsive or inappropriate behavior and activity online is a sign of negative things to come.